19: 30 pm Third Tuesday of the month. This means regular meeting with the Saab friends, even if my daughter marries tomorrow in Cologne. After I mentioned that incidentally, there was a big hello to the comrades and one round at a time graced my lid. Anyway, I only have one daughter. You can also get drunk when she gets married.
22: 55 clock But now I really have to go. My brother from Berlin and his wife with his metallic blue 9-5I have long since arrived at my home. We want to continue together tomorrow before noon to the wedding.
0: 55 O'clock Has pulled in yet, our cozy round. All my friends are now gone by taxi. I pay my bill with some green notes and leave, pushed by the host, the restaurant wavering. The door is locked behind me immediately, the light goes out. I stand alone in the dark in the parking lot. The fresh air is good, I think, but it must support me on the wall. I want to call my wife to pick me up. I packed my cell phone in my coat pocket with my wallet.
1: 05 am Perplexed, I realize that I have no coat on. I realize that unfortunately I forgot it in the restaurant. Drizzle sets in. I am freezing and have to piss.
1: 15 clock So that would be done. I think about what to do. No taxi to see.
1: 25 Watch It occurs to me that I have my key in my pocket and play with it. Suddenly my dark blue 9-5 flashes. Why is the trunk open? I let the hood down, pinching the fingers of my left hand, because I have to lean on the bumper to keep my balance. I have to sit down in terror. So I press the central locking, open the door, get in.
3: 10 clock I wake up and think about where I am. SCHRECK! MY STEERING WHEEL IS WAY! Oh, yes, I have a right-hand drive (almost the only difference to my brother's car) and probably got on the wrong (left) side. I'm looking in the glove compartment for peppermint, because I find out the manual. I feel in the footwell, find it open. I read the somewhat bulky text:
"Your Saab can also work with max. 85 vol% alcohol operated. "
Not a bad idea! I assure you that I have at most 2 per thousand alcohol, which is probably much less. But there is no lower limit.
3: 20 clock I've worked on the (right) driver's seat and look for the key in your pocket.
5: 30 Clock I'm well again. Why do I find the key in the empty peppermint bag?
5: 35 clock The night is completely quiet. No human far and wide. I start. Now just come out of the parking space without quirks.
5: 50 clock Phew, that was close, but now I'm off.
5: 51 Watch The Saab is not pulling properly. Just why? Is it the alcohol? No, on the handbrake on. I solve it. Now he pulls.
5: 52 PM Why is my Saab roaring like this? Is he in the alcohol mode about louder? Just why? Oh, I have to switch. Now the turbo pushes.
6: 05 clock Hihi, I did not know that the curve at the city hall despite the traffic island with 90-100 is easy to create. In a few minutes, I'm finally home.
6:06:16 AM crap crap! A red trowel from the race management forces me to stop at a bus stop! Stay cool! I lower the (left) passenger window and hear (spoken in the empty darkness, thanks to the Night Panel): "General traffic control, driver's license and vehicle license please, did you drink alcohol - uhh ... where are you actually ???"
6: 06: 22 PM I think he wants to mess up my day. Just why?
6: 06: 22,0003 clock Without a word, I accelerate and dash off. Suddenly I'm sober. In driving away, the guy has actually missed me with the stupid trowel a scratch. No respect for a Saab! In the pursuit of the old Passat is expected to have no chance, I'm off.
6: 11 Arrived home, I realize my brother is parked in front of my garage. He lies in the living room on the couch, has dozed off in front of the TV, while he was waiting for me. In a few sentences I explain to him why it has to be very fast now. He is fortunately sober, understands immediately. He reaches for his jacket, we exchange the keys. Outside we exchange (thanks to modern license plate holder) within a few moments the marks, as we would do every day ten times.
6: 14 clock He is already at the wheel of my Saab, on the way to the highway to Cologne. I can still see the thick scratch in the left rear door.
6: 17 clock I've just undressed when it rang storm. They are fix! I can just throw myself on the bed, because my wife is awake. She opens worried. I rub my eyes, put on a bathrobe and follow her sleepy. Two serious officials outside want to know when I last moved my car. I send my wife back to the house. "Last night, after dinner," I answer drowsily. You are not satisfied with the answer, examine with a flashlight accurately the left side of the vehicle on scratch marks, but find nothing. They feel at the hood. "Open!" I hear in the command tone. "Ruuuuhig, Brauner, what's going on?" I answer as cool as never before. "We have a dark Saab, presumably with your license plate uhhh ... lost." The engine is cold to my luck. You still want to take a look in my (empty) garage, then they finally pull off.
8: 00 clock After a cold shower, I call my friend B. in Leverkusen. He has many Saab standing in his junkyard. Luckily also a blue 9-5. By mobile phone call I wake my brother and direct him to Leverkusen. The used door can be exchanged there immediately.
8: 10 Watch My sister-in-law comes out of the guest room and misses her husband. I explain to her that we only saw each other for a moment, that he had already left for Cologne to do something.
9: 00 clock We are on our way to the wedding. As always, my wife climbs in and finds a steering wheel completely unexpected. I look her in the eye and hold her the key. My sister-in-law does not notice. My wife is leaving.
11: 00 clock At the wedding, I meet my brother again. Everything worked, the used door fits perfectly. We exchange the signs and the keys at the right time in the Rathaus underground car park. I thank him deeply.
12: 00 clock Continue to eat: My wife is this time right and finds, again completely surprising, a steering wheel. I look her in the eye and hold her the key. My sister-in-law does not notice. My wife is leaving.
10: 00 clock After a polish you really see no difference anymore.
10: 40 Clock The postman becomes official. The investigation authority writes me: I should demonstrate my car for paint sample comparison.
15: 00 watch This time, they even check the VIN. The ruffian with the trowel is also there, looks suspiciously, I do not show it to me.
The result: no repainting. No scratch. Case closed.
It was a nice wedding. My brother has something good for me!
Conclusion: With a little luck and good friends you can operate his Saab quite well with alcohol.
Thanks to Jörg for his Saab story! Do you also have something to tell about Saab?
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